You are allowed to distance yourself from the things that deplete you, fill you with a sense of fear or dread, and ultimately do not serve you.
This is not because I said so, or because anyone “gave” you permission. (You never need to be given anything, because you already have all the things you need and the power to create inside of you.) Deep down, you know this, but it’s easy to forget simple truths that are based in love when we live in a world that perpetuates fear.
Which thoughts feel expansive? Which thoughts instill you with a sense of helplessness? Can you put a spin on the helpless thoughts to steer them, even if just slightly, toward powerful? How can you think about this subject differently?
It’s not always easy or straightforward, but it can be, as you get more and more practice.
Often, it’s not black or white.
Distancing does not mean ignoring. It means taking a step back – or however many steps back you need to see something from a different perspective. How can you educate yourself in a way that does not fill you with fear? Isn’t it easier to see which course of action to take from this vantage point? Fear clouds our ability to see clearly and keeps us stuck in a state of powerlessness. In a state of powerlessness, we give up before we start or spin our wheels in a state of “fighting for” but not achieving anything. The focus is more on what is unwanted rather than what is wanted.
I want you to know, there was a time when I processed my pain and healed through my writing. But now, when I talk about a painful experience, I mean to approach it from a place of, “This is what I learned, and now I am thinking about this differently even if the external circumstances haven’t changed all that much.” I mean for my words to empower and expand. Despite good intentions, everyone has a different perspective, and words or experiences that might harmonize with one person’s soul may strike a chord of fear in another. Anything that feels dissonant – you don’t have to push yourself to “tough it out,” nor do you have to bury it and pretend it isn’t there. Ask it what it wants to show you. At first, this process may bring up a lot of pain. As you get practice at tuning into what feels expansive and powerful for you, the pain dissipates.
As you step more into love, others will attune to you and this state of love. Some will respond positively to this change in you, while others may think you’ve lost your marbles or will fall off your radar entirely. Let them go, but don’t feel the need to lash out or have the last word. These are behaviors that will not fit with your new energy and are more suited to the old paradigms that we are slowly but surely, and collectively, leaving behind.
“With our love
we could save the world,
if they only knew…” – Within You Without You, The Beatles
© Holley Hyler | June 2, 2017